I wish I could vividly remember my first show. Considering I barely remember what I had for dinner last night, it comes as no surprise that my first encounter with live punk rock is kind of a blur.
But, if I had to guess, I’d bet that it was an all-ages show at the old Underworld skate shop, which was somewhere near Laval at Henri-Bourassa metro in Montreal, and that it was probably hot, sweaty and crowded. I’d also bet that I was with my boyfriend at the time and that I never would have made it out there if it wasn’t for him.
This is not to say that had it not been for him, I’d never have known about said show, nor is this to say that he’s the reason I got into any of this in the first place, but I don’t think I’d have felt comfortable in that setting by myself as a slightly awkward 13 or 14 year old girl.
Many girls in my place may not have felt the same way, but many have and still do. While the scene has changed a lot since 1996, it also hasn’t changed at all. The gender divide still exists and while it’s more common to see the ladies upfront for sing-alongs, and many of the women I’ve known throughout the years will say that there were never any real problems with regards to blatant sexism, I continue to wonder whether or not that’s true.
Experience is a funny thing because it’s different for everybody. What may have made me feel uncomfortable in a room full of dudes might not hold true for someone else and vice-versa, but this is why I’ve created this site: partially out of nostalgia for something I felt really connected to for so many years, and partially out of sheer curiosity. What was it about that awkward feeling?
How do you make space for yourself within a community that ignored you for so long? Some may agree, some may disagree, but I don’t think anyone can dispute the fact that for so long women in the hardcore punk scene were made to embody classic female stereotypes, either fitting into a virgin/whore binary, the catty gossip girl, or the sexless tomboy. Say what you will, but often even the most progressive groups mirror the race/class/gender divides that are present in mainstream culture.
I know I can’t answer this question easily, but I feel like digging a little deeper today…
So I took a little break from TRLP to finish up my thesis and enjoy this view:
We’ll be back in a hot minute.
